I was listening to a guest speaker, one Sunday, sharing his
story of growth, healing, and perspective. Of all the things he shared, one
statement continues to linger in my mind, “Your aroma stays behind, long after
you have left the room.”
This statement was not about one’s actual body scent or
fragrance. It refers to how you make people feel. Does your presence
comfort people? Does it energize, challenge and make people feel appreciated,
leaving a sweet fragrance? Or does it confuse, frustrate, mentally or
emotionally drain? When you leave the room does the feeling dissipate or
linger? Are people seeking more interaction with you or talking about how your
presence permeates or positively impacts the culture or atmosphere?
This touched me on so many levels – as a parent, wife,
friend, colleague, mentor, communications professional and leader. How
many times have I dreaded an interaction, event or meeting? I begin to reflect
on the reasons why. I thought of the times where I craved to be in the presence
of specific people. Why? In these interactions, I felt genuine respect for
everyone in the space, appreciated and listened to. No matter the topic, certain
people have an air about them where I feel valued and always able to glean
wisdom from them even during the tough conversations and admonishments.
Now the hard question. What does my aroma say about me? What
impact does my presence have on people? As I reflected on this, I recalled a
comment made on my very first evaluation in a leadership role. Someone wrote, “Rosalee needs to understand how her emotions affect the entire
team. When she is energized and excited, the team is motivated and engaged.
When she has low energy or shows her frustration, the team feels depleted and
responds accordingly.” My initial response, “Aren’t I entitled to be tired or
show my frustration occasionally?”
Over the years, I’ve grown in my leadership and come to
better understand the lesson in this statement. As a leader, it is critical that
I have a keen sense of self-awareness and recognize the influence of my
emotions (spoken or not) on those looking to me for guidance, support, strength, and leadership. It’s not that I can’t have low energy days or frustrations.
However, I do need to be cognizant of the perspective when it is obvious.
I am mindful of this lesson daily as I interact with
numerous people, personally and professionally. I hope the scent I leave behind
is one of compassion, tranquility, support, confidence, and appreciation. More
importantly, I hope my aroma carries over and entices others who have come into
contact with me to do the same for others. That is the impact I strive for every day as a leader.
So, I ask you, “What aroma are you leaving behind?”
