Your Aroma Stays Behind, Long After You Have Left the Room

I was listening to a guest speaker, one Sunday, sharing his story of growth, healing, and perspective. Of all the things he shared, one statement continues to linger in my mind, “Your aroma stays behind, long after you have left the room.”

This statement was not about one’s actual body scent or fragrance. It refers to how you make people feel. Does your presence comfort people? Does it energize, challenge and make people feel appreciated, leaving a sweet fragrance? Or does it confuse, frustrate, mentally or emotionally drain? When you leave the room does the feeling dissipate or linger? Are people seeking more interaction with you or talking about how your presence permeates or positively impacts the culture or atmosphere?

This touched me on so many levels – as a parent, wife, friend, colleague, mentor, communications professional and leader. How many times have I dreaded an interaction, event or meeting? I begin to reflect on the reasons why. I thought of the times where I craved to be in the presence of specific people. Why? In these interactions, I felt genuine respect for everyone in the space, appreciated and listened to. No matter the topic, certain people have an air about them where I feel valued and always able to glean wisdom from them even during the tough conversations and admonishments.

Now the hard question. What does my aroma say about me? What impact does my presence have on people? As I reflected on this, I recalled a comment made on my very first evaluation in a leadership role. Someone wrote, “Rosalee needs to understand how her emotions affect the entire team. When she is energized and excited, the team is motivated and engaged. When she has low energy or shows her frustration, the team feels depleted and responds accordingly.” My initial response, “Aren’t I entitled to be tired or show my frustration occasionally?”

Over the years, I’ve grown in my leadership and come to better understand the lesson in this statement. As a leader, it is critical that I have a keen sense of self-awareness and recognize the influence of my emotions (spoken or not) on those looking to me for guidance, support, strength, and leadership. It’s not that I can’t have low energy days or frustrations. However, I do need to be cognizant of the perspective when it is obvious.

I am mindful of this lesson daily as I interact with numerous people, personally and professionally. I hope the scent I leave behind is one of compassion, tranquility, support, confidence, and appreciation. More importantly, I hope my aroma carries over and entices others who have come into contact with me to do the same for others. That is the impact I strive for every day as a leader.

So, I ask you, “What aroma are you leaving behind?”

Finding Beauty in the Detour

I’m traveling home from a tournament in southern California with my son when Onstar redirects us an hour out of our path. After driving in a circle for 20 minutes or so, we finally call OnStar to see what was causing the detour. Learning they were actually helping us avoid a two-hour delay caused by an overturned truck, we decide to follow the new directions provided. About 30 minutes into the detour, I wake up to a beautiful image of mountains in the Mojave Desert, perfectly pictured outside my window. It looked like an artist had freshly painted it. I wanted to reach out and touch the mountains. I imagined myself sitting at the top looking across the plain thinking “we would have missed this beautiful landscape had we not taken the detour.” As I sat atop of the mountain, in my mind, I thought of all of the possibilities and opportunities that await us.

Life is full of detours. Sometimes it’s the distraction needed to invoke a fresh perspective or way of thinking about a particular topic or issue. The challenge is not to avoid the detour or rush to a speedy fix, but to take the time to scan the landscape, actively take in the moment and find the value and beauty in the detour.

As leaders we should plan and look for the occasional detour. It’s our opportunity to help our teams view a project or problem through a different lens; as a small piece of a mosaic- finely crafted artwork. Each pen/brush stroke is vitally important and thought through adding to the overall uniqueness and tone of the piece. Even the smallest stray line seen by the eye can change the composition or balance of the picture. For that reason, an artist continuously steps back and looks at the piece from many different angles to obtain a full picture and refines. That is what we, as leaders, should be doing – helping our teams continuously reflect, connect our individual efforts with the bigger and refine as needed to create a mosaic – a collective masterpiece that all can own and be proud of. When we do this, the focus moves to the outcome and not the steps and obstacles needed to achieve it. That is the value and beauty of the detour.

PR Leadership Lessons Learned while Watching High School Basketball

Like many parents with teenagers, I spend a great deal of my evenings and weekends at sports events. For me, the sports happen to be basketball and competitive cheer. After getting dizzy from watching my son’s varsity team run the same offense over and over to no avail, I begin to wonder what is the strategy behind this? And why aren’t they adapting to the press in real-time? (I know they can, I’ve seen them do this on numerous occasions.) Where is the disconnect? What am I missing or not seeing?

I must admit I am not an ardent basketball fan or an expert on all things basketball. What I know I’ve learned from my husband and son, watching their games and rooting for my alma mater Michigan State. However, I’ve learned enough to know when the play/strategy is limited or ineffective at a given time. I’ve learned that an effective offense requires everyone to understand the vision, goals and playbook. Everyone must align their efforts accordingly. This led me to ask “how do you support a coach/leader whose instinct and instruction is to run the same offense no matter what defensive strategy/challenge they face?”

In essence…How do we support the coach/leader who does not appear willing or perhaps capable of discerning: 1) the need to adapt, 2) when to adapt, and/or 3) how to adapt?

As a communications/PR professional this is key. Particularly when working with a leadership team or advising clients during crises, dealing with highly sensitive issues or leading internal communications.

The leader’s role is to set the strategy and help the respective team members envision and understand their role and determine the best plan of action. Organizational strategies, like basketball plays, should be discussed and practiced. My experience in both contexts leads me to believe that some leaders/coaches do not account for barriers (defenses) and thus fail to develop and communicate modifications to the strategy/play and empower the team to make adaptations while things are in motion. Some of the most successful teams, have a few options and enact the most effective offense for the defense they are seeing—this requires team members who can quickly scan the environment, assess the conditions, and determine the best plan of action—given the current circumstances. Team members must react to one another’s changes and any associated signals provided by the leader on the court—who is not the coach.

In an organizational context, the president may have a strategy, but when the plan is being executed, those taking action must make situational choices that may deviate from the action items—but still is on point in relation to accomplishing the ultimate goal of the strategy.

Leaders need to and should trust other’s expertise. Each of us will have a different perspective depending on where we are positioned on the court.  That includes the team members who are on the bench, who may not be supportive of what they are witnessing. They might think they should be put in, and are in the coach’s ear—creating doubt and causing confusion. (Don’t be that player/or professional) Ultimately, your success depends on the collective team effort and execution. Therefore, you must be able to identify opportunities and impediments and adjust quickly and decisively.

• Be confident: Keep your personal and organizational values and goals before you and make decisions based upon these two (which are hopefully aligned).
• Be willing to ask difficult questions and receive unexpected answers that warrant adapting your perspective and actions: As a PR professional, we must always ask the hard questions that aren’t readily apparent to others. Be willing to speak the truth to situations even when it is not to your advantage to do so.
• Take action to fill a void or gap:  Your greatest asset is to be a resource to others. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone to help someone else. Always be ready for the unexpected.
• Possess the ability to think through a situation while in the midst. Recognize critical moments and adjust your strategy as warranted.
• Most importantly, listen and trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. In my opinion, active listening is one of the most critical characteristics of a PR professional.

Regardless of the type of leader, whether in the C-Suite or on the court, these five attributes will help distinguish you and advance your organization.